91. 10 Ways to Be a Disappointment

What in life deserves our time and attention and what things don't. I hope that as we consider that question along with other topics on this show, that we can all learn to live our lives just a little more intentionally. This is Seth Roberts. Thanks for joining me on Skipping Stones - “10 Ways to Be a Disappointment.”

Sometimes the easiest way to figure out the things that you should be doing is to figure out the things you shouldn't be doing. For some reason, it's a lot easier for our little minds to focus on things that we don't like. So, I put together a list of 10 ways to be a disappointment to someone to help narrow down our options.

I focus more specifically on. How to be a disappointment to your friends and family. So, by no means is this list conclusive, but at the very least, I hope it serves as food for thought. So, the first way to be a disappointment and one of my personal favorites is to mooch find something your friend has access to and make it yours feel at home.

If they have a home worth feeling at home in. If you're traveling and need your friend to pay the bill promise, you'll pay them back. Even if you never plan to. If you're hungry, go make their pantry into your own personal grocery store.  The second way to be a disappointment is to make sure that you don't do what you say you'll do.

No matter what you tell them. Don't do it. If your parents ask you to watch their dog while they go on a trip, make sure you say yes, but when the time comes for them to leave, think of a good excuse for why you can't do it anymore. Maybe your house got flooded or you were overcome with a sudden illness that prevents you from doing what you said you do. 

The third way to be a disappointment is to figure out your friend's insecurities and use them to your advantage. Most everyone has something that they're a little bit insecure about. Find it. Maybe you'll notice that they're a little sensitive. Every time you bring up where they're from, depending on what you're going for, you can remind them that they're just an unsophisticated country bumpkin.

Or maybe if you want them to do something they're uncomfortable with, you could challenge them a little by asking them if it's because of their background. The fourth way to be a disappointment is to make sure that you're only ever friends with people that can elevate your social status. Some people just won't be worth your time, and if you can't take advantage of their cool house or their yacht, then they better damn well have some social status that you can take advantage of when you meet this person.

Make sure to pester them about getting you into parties and events. Make sure to name drop when you're talking to lesser people about them. If you happen to rise higher in the social hierarchy than them, then you won't need to pay any attention to 'em anymore. The fifth way to be a disappointment is to make sure to bring the conversation back to yourself.

This is an important one. There's no reason you should be obligated to care about what other people have to say. The truly important thing is that they know what is going on in your life. Sometimes people get squirrely and they'll piggyback off of something you said in order to move into a topic about something that they're interested in.

Just make sure you give a few polite nods and say, uh-huh while they're talking, and the second they're done, just pick right back up where you left off. What really matters as far as doing this right, is to make sure it's clear you didn't pay any attention to what they had to say. The sixth way to be a disappointment.

Is to not show up on time or just don't show up at all. Why on earth should you be expected to show up when you said you would, it's almost like people don't understand that you have a very busy and very important life and that they're lucky to have you show up at all. I'll tell you what, the gall of some people.

They should know that no matter how inconvenient it is for them to wait on you, it's so much more inconvenient for you to have to accommodate them. In reality, they're lucky to even have you show up. The seventh way to be a disappointment is to lie to them. Tell your friends and family what they need to know.

Even if what they need to know isn't actually true, tell them you'll help them out with that house project and then don't. If something's wrong and they ask about it, tell them everything's all good. Make sure they never really know what is going on with you and especially be careful that you always let them down when you say you'll do something.

The eighth way to be a disappointment is to make sure you never reach out or respond to their messages. It's important to make sure that your friends and family know how unimportant they are to you. Make sure that if someone is trying to reconnect with you, that you take forever to get back to them, or even better, just don't get back to them.

Some people will try to draw closer to you by keeping in touch. Don't allow them to think their efforts are valued by you, by spending any effort to respond. If you feel compelled to take a call or to respond to a message, just be sure to put minimal effort into the response. Sticking to one-word answers is a solid approach here.

The ninth way to be a disappointment is to scoff at something they're proud of. Every once in a while, a friend or family member might wanna show you something that they're proud of. Now, there's a few ways you can handle this. You can tell them about something you did or have that was more difficult or more valuable than whatever they did or than whatever they have.

Or if you don't have something that you can one up them with, all you need to do to devalue whatever it is that they're showing you is to underreact, just don't act impressed. That's usually good enough, the 10th way to be a disappointment. It's to make sure that they know how valuable your time is.  Be perpetually too busy to spend any meaningful time with someone.

Watch the clock while you're with them. Maybe ditch out of things early so that you can go meet up with other friends. Cut them off whenever it's convenient to you while they're talking. Start looking around for something else that might catch your interest. 

So, you see, it really doesn't have to be so hard to be a disappointment.

In fact, it's pretty easy. There's obviously a certain amount of grace afforded in any friendship, and we can get away with doing things like this for a while, but sooner or later they will create a wedge and you will lose those friendships or simply end up with friends that are similar to you. Which I just don't think will be very fulfilling.

This is Skipping Stones - “10 Ways to Be a Disappointment.” You can find this podcast anywhere you choose to listen to podcasts. For more information about me, feel free to visit skippingstonessr.com. And if you enjoyed the show, please like or subscribe. If there is a topic you would like me to speak on, please feel free to email me. At info@skippingstonessr.com, new episodes will be released weekly every Monday.