Episode 59. Life Gives More Than It Takes

What in life deserves our time and attention and what things don't. I hope that as we consider that question along with other topics on this show, that we can all learn to live our lives just a little more intentionally. This is Seth Roberts. Thanks for joining me on Skipping Stones - “Life Gives More Than It Takes.”

In the 1970s film, Willie Wonka, the Chocolate Factory.  There's a line from one of the songs that says, “If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it,” regardless of whether or not you're standing in a room made of chocolate. It's true. It's not worth pretending that life is all roses, but there's a lot more of life available to us if we are able to step outside of our heads.

When my kids get bored, they like to complain that there's nothing to do. But really all that means is that they haven't chosen to open their eyes. They're choosing in those moments to try and get me to throw some stimulating activity in front of them. That's so interesting that they can't ignore it, and that's just too much work for any parent to keep up with.

Not to mention that they get desensitized over time and become perpetually discontent no matter what entertainment you throw at them. Unfortunately, in life, there's not a whole ton of stuff out there that's going to excite us without consciously looking for it. The reason we love our phones so much is because they throw novelty at us, almost nonstop.

We can sit for hours with never ending stimuli. It may not always be that exciting, but it's easier than having to look for things that we like in the world around us. So, it goes with the gifts of life. I noticed a while back that cars that I once thought were breathtakingly beautiful stopped being so exciting.

The second an updated design started hitting the roads. In short, I think I feel prey to our human tendency to only look at the things I'm told to. If the car company tells me that I need the latest model, my desire obeys. Our minds are so drawn to that which we do not have that that desire crowds out the pleasure we are able to receive from what we already have.

Our simple minds need a lot of reminders to stop looking at what we don't have. One of the greatest failings of the human mind is that it does not stay put. It wanders around and gets distracted by shiny objects that aren't already in our possession. We're a little like spoiled children being offered endless gifts and presents, but the only thing we can focus on is the one thing that's not being given to us if we are willing to actively look around us.

Life gives in so many ways, life gives us good things to smell when we walk outside. It gives us beautiful things to look at that we don't have to pay for. It gives us incredible music to listen to. It gives wonderful things to feel and experience. The thing about the ever present gifts that life offers to us is that they're quiet, they're not loud, and they do not overcome our attention.

We have to actually make an effort to see these gifts. A while back, I was watching the original Cinderella movie with my kids. There's a scene where her glass slipper comes off her foot. It's set against one of the most incredible backdrops. The staircase is so wide, it could fit possibly 30 people side by side.

And in the background are columns that appear to be the size of high-rise buildings. And that was the first time I ever noticed that it really was a kind of precursor to the dramatic shots Hollywood likes to use these days. When I noticed it, my heart immediately told me, I had to have it in spite of my heart.

I realized that even the richest man in the world might have trouble replicating a structure like that, and I realized that the same effect could be achieved if he just scaled it down. A wide staircase with regular-sized columns in the background would proportionally look similar to that incredible backdrop in the Cinderella movie.

Similarly, as beautiful and grand as ancient cathedrals might be. A mature forest offers a very similar cathedral effect. With some perspective and some open eyes, we can find the same exaggerated beauty we see in film in the real world. It's especially hard in our information age to exercise our ability to take the subtler gifts that life has to offer, but I believe they are ultimately more satisfying if we can learn to see this world Seeing the gifts life has to offer.

Seems almost like developing a sixth sense. The added bonus to learning to see these gifts is that there's a satisfaction in having discovered something no one else can see. One of my best friends has a remarkable ability to light up like a child. Every time he sees an interesting bug. I think he has unlocked a secret garden, if you will, that he can access whenever he walks outside.

It's a gift that life has bestowed upon him that he has chosen to take. I can't say that I have learned to love bugs, but simply being around my friend has taught me to open my eyes a little more. And as a result, I do sometimes take a little pleasure in seeing an interesting bug, but life has offered me other gifts that have given me my own secret garden.

It's hard to remember that I have access to such rich gifts in my life because I, like everyone else, am drawn to that which glitters. Whether that be the news or a funny video that I saw on social media. It all screams for our attention, but when I remind myself that life has something better to offer me, I try to open my eyes again so that I can enter that secret garden once more.

You don't always need a bucket list to live your life to the fullest. Sometimes you just need the ability to open your eyes. I have a daughter with the most incredible secret garden available to her. When left to her own devices, this little girl can take incredible pleasure for making something out of a pile of trash.

I sometimes find that dumbing things down gives us access to a more satisfying and nuanced pleasure if we're open to it. For example, I like listening to music while I do things, but I heard someone say once that they enjoyed listening to music as the main activity, which seems normal enough. But when I thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time I listened to music just to listen to the music.

Obviously, people have been doing that since music was invented, but outside of a concert, when was the last time you just sat and did nothing other than listen to music? I tried it and it was amazing. The simpler things are almost never as immediately satisfying as highly stimulating entertainment, but it has a way of leaving you feeling far more fulfilled. 

When our mind is overwhelmed with powerful stimuli, it gets harder to appreciate the nuance of things that are less obviously stimulating. It's a lot like food. The modern American diet is super heavy on salt and sugar, and as a consequence, it's very hard for Americans to appreciate vegetables unless they're sweetened or salted.

What a lot of people don't know is that if you can remove the majority, if not all added salt from your diet, foods you may have thought of as bland, actually become flavorful again. It takes a few weeks for the tongue to adapt, but it does. And so it goes with the gifts that life has to offer us. When we chase after only the most stimulating things in life, it's going to rob us of a world of good things, the good gifts of life.

Do not blunt our taste for the other good gifts of life. In fact, they help open up a world of gifts for us to enjoy. The gifts that life offers when we open our eyes are the kinds of gifts that don't leave us feeling anxious for more because they're the kinds of gifts that actually leave us satisfied.

If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. If you can learn how to do that, you'll come to find life gives more than it takes. This is Skipping Stones. You can find this podcast anywhere you choose to listen to podcasts. For more information about me, feel free to visit skippingstonessr.com.

And if you enjoyed the show, please like or subscribe. If there is a topic you would like me to speak on, please feel free to email me at info@skippingstonessr.com. New episodes will be released weekly every Monday.