Episode102: Loud Music, Bright Lights

What in life deserves our time and attention and what things don't. I hope that as we consider that question along with other topics on this show, that we can all learn to live our lives just a little more intentionally. This is Seth Roberts. Thanks for joining me on Skipping Stones - “Loud Music, Bright Lights.”

When I was a kid, there was a drink that was popular called Sunny Delight. I think they still sell it, but it's nowhere near as prevalent as it used to be. You might call it a type of orange juice, but that might be too generous of a term. I think maybe a more appropriate name might be orange flavored sugar.

In my opinion, it is one of the most disgustingly sweet drinks I've ever had, and as a kid, of course I liked it, but now it's hardly even tolerable for me. It's one of those drinks that pretty much overwhelms all other flavors with sweetness. I love sweetened foods, but it's easy to get so hooked on sweetness that all other flavors become less relevant and are harder to taste.

Something I learned a while back is that our tongue adjusts to what we eat 'cause our taste buds get completely replaced by new ones every few weeks. If you were to cut out sugar and cut out salt for a little while, you'd find that bland food stops tasting quite so bland. Your capacity to perceive subtler flavors becomes enhanced.

The whole idea seems somewhat analogous to life these days because we live in a time of incredible access. Even during recessions here in America, our access to food and other goods is unrivaled by any other time in history. We have more options than anyone would've even imagined a hundred years ago.

With all of these options available to us, I sometimes wonder if we choose to overwhelm our senses with the loudest flavors and experiences at the expense of all other flavors and experiences. We acclimate to being around the most attention-grabbing foods and experiences so much that the quieter things have become more difficult to experience.

Not so long ago I was walking around a famous tourist destination known for bars and music. It's a pretty exciting place.  If you go there in the evening, it seems like literally everywhere you turn there's blaring music and bright neon signs, and virtually everyone seems to be. At least a little bit drunk.

There's an appeal to the noise. It has an energy, it's fun and it's exciting. And maybe part of that appeal is actually the fact that it drowns out everything else. I suppose most of the people there would tell you they were having a good time. But I can't help but think that we're losing more than we gain when we indulge so much in the loud music and the bright lights.

There's beauty in nuance. In fact, I think there's more beauty in nuance than there is in strong flavors. Loud music and bright lights. The quieter things in life offer more depth and a greater range of things to be noticed, but it takes a little effort compared to being overwhelmed by a stronger experience.

I love spicy food, for example, but I know if I go heavy on the spicy, I won't get to experience whatever food item. I've made it spicy because the only thing I'll be able to taste is going to be the spice. I think most of the time we're drawn to that loud music and those bright lights because it takes little to no work for us to experience it, but I think for some people they gravitate toward that specifically because it drowns out everything else.

When things are quiet, we can appreciate more nuanced things. But the quiet also allows us to start perceiving those feelings that we might prefer to drown out. So, a lot of people run from the quiet as much as possible. Loud music and bright lights are so overwhelming, they don't have to feel anything else.

Learning to embrace the quiet is worth it. Though it may force you to face the pain you would rather not have to look at, but that may be for the best as you'll never overcome it without eventually having to look at it.  And when you do, a world of good things is available to you. Loud music and bright lights are sort of like letting one flavor dominate the entire time instead of being able to experience a symphony.

Powerful moments tend to affect us from the inside out. And they don't often occur when all the stimulation is forcing itself from the outside in. It's beyond easy to get caught up in whatever is the loudest, most attention sucking thing out there. But I tend to think that those are almost always the least satisfying things in life.

Learning to take pleasure from the simple things is where real happiness resides. I love nice cars, big houses, and fancy things as much as the next person, but I would be fooling myself if I let myself think that those things are what make a good life. What makes a good life is spending time with family, watching fireworks on the 4th of July.

What makes a good life is hugging your kids before they head off to school. What makes a good life is seeing someone you love when you get back from work. A good life is made of little things, not big ones. Living a good life is finding something good in the monotony so that things don't remain monotonous.

Picking up your favorite treat from your favorite local bakery to share it with friends. Watching the sky turn orange from your back porch. Playing a vigorous game of tag with your kids at a park. There's so much in life for us to enjoy, but it requires us to open our eyes, and sometimes it may even require us to turn down the music.

And step away from those bright lights. This is Skipping Stones. You can find this podcast anywhere you choose to listen to podcasts. For more information about me, feel free to visit skippingstonessr.com. And if you enjoyed the show, please like or subscribe. If there is a topic you would like me to speak on, please feel free to email me at info@skippingstonessr.com, new episodes will be released weekly every Monday.