Episode 82. Surrender

What in life deserves our time and attention and what things don't. I hope that as we consider that question along with other topics on this show, that we can all learn to live our lives just a little more intentionally. This is Seth Roberts. Thanks for joining me on Skipping Stones— “Surrender.”

To win at something is a concept that is really not that simple. In the context of a game or a battle, the idea is fairly clear. But in the grander scheme of things, winning a battle often doesn't win the war. And sometimes a battle won under the wrong circumstances, might even speed up the ultimate loss of a war.

The US military dominated the Taliban in Afghanistan militarily, and completely took it over, but 20 years later, the Taliban came right back into power. Sometimes the battles we win are simply the wrong battles to be winning, because to really win at something ultimately demands that you are better off than how you started.

We spend so much of our time fighting and striving and pushing and shoving our way to where we want to be. We have an idea in our mind about what we think we want and need, and we push to acquire it. It is remarkable what our indomitable spirits can accomplish. The most inspiring people in fiction and in history are people that refused to give up in spite of terrible odds.

As much as I admire the fighting spirit and resolve of mankind, I also believe that to never surrender is to never win. I say this because there are things worth surrendering to. Without surrender, there's only a never-ending fight. Sometimes surrender simply means to choose to be satisfied with where you currently are in life.

Sometimes I think it means to let someone win a battle that would've caused you to lose a war. Then there's this idea of surrendering yourself. To a principle or something you believe to be greater than yourself, to surrender entirely to something like this is to let go of the ego and become an extension of the thing that you are surrendering to.

It's scary because it requires us to give up this idea that we have of ourselves and our mind, but it's necessary in order to transcend into something greater than just us. Few things are more fulfilling than to serve a purpose. When we serve only ourselves, it's almost as if we're trying to make ourselves the only purpose that ever mattered, but that's like trying to take the place of God.

And since none of us are meant to be God, we end up feeling empty. Let's just assume that you're the winningest human that ever lived. You've won all the power in the world, and all the things in the world, and all the love of the world. You would be left with nothing to strive for. The only purpose to serve, assuming you haven't adopted one that you believe to be higher than yourself is yourself.

All the good things in the world will eventually become stale without having a purpose to strive toward. On a daily basis, we think about our current state, and we take actions to approve upon that state or to pacify or discontent over it. There's a benefit to just letting go of the self for a moment because when you let go of the concept of quote you, you also let go of all the things associated with it, such as pride, hate.

Sadness, fear, disappointment, all those things exist only in relation to how they affect what you would call you when you can let the quote self-disappear momentarily. It evaporates into the incredible song that is the world we belong to. What is now good for you is that which is good for everything because everything in a way has become you.

Eliminating the self is the equivalent to surrendering to eternity. If you're religious, it means you are surrendering yourself to God. If you're an atheist, it means you're surrendering your sense of self-importance to a universe that you are only the tiniest piece of. There's a kind of peace that can be acquired through surrender that an indomitable will can never satisfy.

When you take those moments in life, when you are feeling discontent and surrender to them, or maybe a better way of saying it, is accepting that they are there, you can then transcend them in a way. When you stop allowing your feelings to be a part of you and mentally step outside of yourself and observe them, you can reach a kind of peace and contentment.

That is powerful. Like so many things in life, it seems that there is never a perfectly easy answer to what is the best path forward. If we were all perfectly content, we might have a healthy curiosity for the world around us, but probably little drive to do anything with it. Without drive and indomitable wills, we would not persevere long enough to continue our survival.

So maybe there's a time and a place for both. Everything in this world seems to have its inverse and consequently without one side. The other would not exist. If there was no evil, then there'd be no good. If there was no chaos, then there'd be no calm, and if there's no up, then there's no down. If there's no darkness, then there's no light.

f there is no surrender, there is no conquering or overcoming. The best lesson I can pull from this is that maybe we should seek to have the benefits of both. Each in their own due time. Also, a recognition that this life is not meant to be led in a straight line. We are meant to go up and come down. We are meant to go right, and we're meant to go left. 

No good story about winning has ever been written. That hasn't included a point in which the hero has also lost. Managing loss teaches us how to win and how to remain resilient. Loss teaches us humility. And loss educates us. There will always be a time to fight. Life seems, in many ways, to be nothing but a never-ending cycle of fights.

But there is also a time for surrender. That moment you do finally choose to surrender may even be the sweetest moment that you ever get to experience. This is Skipping Stones — “Surrender.” You can find this podcast anywhere you choose to listen to podcasts. For more information about me, feel free to visit skipping stones sr.com.

And if you enjoyed the show, please like or subscribe. If there is a topic you would like me to speak on, please feel free to email me at info@skippingstonessr.com. New episodes will be released weekly—every Monday.