Episode 45: The Beauty of Used Things

[00:00:00] What in life deserves our time and attention, and what things don't? I hope that as we consider that question, along with other topics on this show, that we can all learn to live our lives just a little more intentionally. This is Seth Roberts. Thanks for joining me on Skipping Stones on this episode - "The Beauty of Used Things."

As I've gotten a little older, I've begun to notice all the small signs of aging [00:00:30] beginning to show. I see the faint wrinkles starting to form and the rough skin that has seen way too much sun. When I began to notice these imperfections, I think it bothered me at first because I wasn't ready to accept that I was becoming middle aged.

I think I'm past that now, but of course, I'd still prefer to have my youth if that's an option. But all things considered, I feel relatively content. In a strange way, the small [00:01:00] wrinkles I see forming in my skin, They're beautiful because the skin on my face has been well used. They're kind of like a faint map to the expressions that I've worn for so many years.

They're part of the story that I've lived. He's a man. I take pride in my scars as kind of proof of masculinity. But outside of that, I can still appreciate them for the story they tell as well. They represent some of my accidents [00:01:30] and mishaps in my life. Like a trusty tool, I have a certain amount of affection for this body that I have and the life that it's carried me through.

With some things in life, you begin to appreciate them even more the more useful they've been to you. The beauty of used things is the experiences they represent, as well as the story they've taken part in. I think most of us innately recognize that there is beauty in used things. [00:02:00] Have you ever been sad to say goodbye to a home, even though you were upgraded to something nicer?

Or maybe there was a car you were sad to sell or let go of? I think that sadness comes from a recognition of that story and that experience. It's almost like, the more we use a thing, the more our soul extends to it. A tool, in a way, is an extension of our mind and soul. When a person grabs a [00:02:30] hammer, for instance, it's not the hammer that's doing the hammering, but rather the person holding it.

And thereby that hammer, in a way, becomes a part of us. When we use a tool extensively, the stronger we connect with it. Because it's spent so much time as an extension of our body. And just as our tools are an extension of our body, our body is an extension of our sense of self. Our body serves as the ultimate tool.[00:03:00] 

It is the conduit by which we get to interact with the world. And just like any other tool, it gets used up and eventually breaks down. All that being said, our bodies are remarkably reliable tools. Even when we take them for granted. and injure them through carelessness or weaken them over time to poor food choices.

They still carry on remarkably well for many years. For me, our hands in particular [00:03:30] are a part of our body that I think I appreciate the most. I love to see them in art and, as weird as this sounds, I sometimes even love admiring my own hands. Certainly not because of their beauty, out of gratitude for them.

What I love about hands is that they make possible the most beautiful and wonderful things. Hands make music come to life, they make buildings rise, and hands embrace other [00:04:00] hands. I believe our hands represent our connection to this world more than any other part of us. In a way, our entire body is built specifically to move our hands to where they need to be in order to accomplish something.

Even our eyes are our hands. serve the purpose of taking us to where our hands need to be. When I look at my hands, they're fairly calloused. They look older than the rest of my body, and yet they are the most beautiful part of it. [00:04:30] They have done the work I have asked them to do. They type the words that I'm speaking now.

They've embraced the people that I love, and they've allowed me to build my world to my satisfaction. As our bodies age, they may no longer have the same sexual appeal. And feature potential, as they did in our younger years, but they do represent realized potential and actual accomplishments. While our young bodies reflect potential for bright [00:05:00] futures, older bodies represent bright paths, life stories, and acquired wisdom.

One of the most significant causes of wrinkles on our skin, outside of sun damage. is how much we use our skin. People that smile are far more likely to have wrinkles on their face, which, in a way, seems deserving of our admiration. The people that are most concerned about aging [00:05:30] are those that have aged.

I never even thought about aging until I started to see the subtle signs of aging in myself. I think one of the reasons that we're so bothered by it is that we place so much emphasis on the worth of youthful beauty and care too little for the value of experience. I think if we were offered the opportunity to have our bodies return to the same state they were in back in our 20s, very few of us would probably say no to that.

But [00:06:00] if it came with the stipulation that we don't get to take our memories or learned wisdom with us, that decision no longer is so cut and dry. And I'm sure a lot of people would still opt to go back to their 20s, but I know I wouldn't. It'd be nice to get Younger again, but if I didn't get to bring what's been so hard won, why would I bother?

It isn't like I would even be able to appreciate the extra years of life if I couldn't remember [00:06:30] some of them. But even if in that situation we were permitted some amount of awareness of our previous life, I still don't think I would choose that path if it meant taking away the lessons learned. Someone once told me about this beautiful Japanese tradition called kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with a lacquer that has gold powder mixed in it, or some other precious metal.

And it's tied to this [00:07:00] Japanese philosophy called Wabi-Sabi. I hope I said that right. This philosophy can be described as embracing the imperfect and the impermanent. In Kintsugi, the evidence of damage doesn't reflect something of lesser value, but rather something with a story. And by adding gold to the repair, the value of that item becomes greater than it was before it was broken.

And underlying this whole concept is also simply [00:07:30] the acceptance of what is inevitably going to come. Our ability to appreciate the imperfect is inherent to us if we open our eyes to it. The Burj Khalifa is currently the tallest building in the world. But would anyone really argue It has more value than the Grumman Coliseum or Anchor Wah.

Maybe in a few hundred years, if it's still standing, but I tend to doubt it. New places have novelty, but old [00:08:00] places have history. Used things are beautiful. People are beautiful. The aging bodies of the people that have loved me throughout my life are beautiful. They're less perfect than they once were.

But they've done their job, no matter how imperfectly. For the most part, people and things that have yet to sustain any damage in their lives have simply not been around long enough to have much of a story. So, you may be fairly beat up and [00:08:30] broken, but that gold lacquer That the Japanese used to fix their pottery.

It's the resilience and wisdom we use to badge ourselves back together. This is Skipping Stones. You can find this podcast, "The Beauty of Used Things," anywhere you choose to listen to podcasts. For more information about me, feel free to visit www.skippingstonessr.com. And if you enjoyed the show, please like or subscribe. If there is a topic you would like me to speak on, please feel free to email [00:09:00] me: info@skippingstonessr.com. New episodes will be released weekly, every Monday.