Episode 103: The Best Kind of Inheritance

What in life deserves our time and attention and what things don't. I hope that as we consider that question along with other topics on this show, that we can all learn to live our lives just a little more intentionally. This is Seth Roberts. Thanks for joining me on Skipping Stones - “The Best Kind of Inheritance.”

A lot of people inherit money at some point in their life.  But others inherit something far more valuable, and a lucky few might even inherit both. I've been one of those fortunate people who periodically has been gifted money from family members in the past. Nothing to make me rich, but more like a little here and a little there.

Every time it happened though, it felt like a godsend, but of course, I'm not sure there's ever an untimely time for money to arrive. But as helpful as that money is and as grateful as I am for it, I don't think in any way has it come even close to the value of the other things I have inherited from my family.

First and foremost, I think the greatest gift my family's given me, aside from keeping me alive and protected all my childhood years, is a certain mindset, a belief that if someone else can do a thing, so can we. Paired with the recognition that if we can do a thing, so can someone else. Also, they gifted me with the knowledge that money is only as helpful as we make it based on how we choose to use it.

I see people look at things that other people are doing and tell themselves they could never do those things. They make an identity out of their limitations and never even try. Then there are people that have arrived at the conclusion that they are superior to the people around them. I suppose this is nice for their self-esteem, but they get so stuck in their ways because of the truly idiotic belief that nobody else is capable of doing something cleverer than them.

For better or for worse. I've never felt smart in my life, but I've also never felt stupid either, and I think in large part that comes from my family. I was reminded over and over that other people sometimes have a view of a situation that I did not. No doubt I would get super annoyed when I came to my dad with a really good idea, only to have all of its flaws pointed out, but at least it protected me from taking on the silly mindset that I know better than everyone else.

It's one of the greatest inheritances I have. I see other people that barely have two pennies to rub together. That will spend any extra money they can get on things like lotto tickets, canned drinks, or restaurants. The concept of spending less than you earn is foreign to so many people, and it keeps them in chains throughout their lives.

I think most people have had that principle explained to them, but more often than not, people seem to persist in whatever habits they learn from their parents. I've certainly strayed from that principle at times in my life, but it was my good fortune to have those lessons ingrained well enough into my mind that I found my way back to fiscal responsibility.

I think God for that inheritance; people mostly seem to understand the idea that money isn't the most important thing to inherit yet when people get bitter about someone else's advantages. It's not likely you'll ever hear them complaining that someone else was lucky because another person's parents raised them right.

Virtually the only thing people ever seem to complain about is whether or not another person inherited money. I can think of a lot of people that had all the money advantages yet still managed to end their lives just scraping by. And I can think of plenty of errors to status and fortunes that have led really miserable lives.

At the end of the day, money given to someone only seems to help in as much as they were taught how to use it. It can be an incredible tool to further our happiness, and it can be an incredible tool to inflict harm on ourselves and others if you inherit money along with being taught how to manage it.

All the better. But if you never learned how to use it in a way that brought you some amount of joy, then what good was that inheritance? On the other hand, if you were never given a scent but learned from the example of your parents how to find joy regardless of your circumstances, then you are arguably as rich as any man on earth.

The inheritances I want most deeply to offer my children is good sense. And the knowledge they need to live a satisfying and content life. I don't want them to just have to endure every day, dreading the next morning. People talk about wanting to help others, but at the end of the day, they spend little to no thought on how they're setting up their own kids to thrive.

Maybe they're filling up their college fund and maybe they're making sure their kids have all the right clothes and are attending the right school. But if those kids aren't seeing examples of how to live a fulfilling life, then what inheritance have they actually received? It seems like half of the kids reaching adulthood today have learned more about living life from their tablets and their parents.

Kids need a guide when they come into the world and whether or not they get a good guide makes all the difference. If you go to a city on a vacation, a good guide will show you the best places to eat, the favorite local hotspots. They'll tell you the local gossip, the urban legends, and the stories that made the place what it is.

You will likely walk away knowing more about the city than some of the people that have lived there most of their lives. Now, a bad tour guide might sit you down in a room and have you watch a video someone else made about the city, and then they'll ask for a tip. And the only thing there is to be jealous about, in my opinion, is how good of a tour guide someone else got.

The mindsets we inherit in childhood are powerful for good or bad. Through the example of our parents as well as the priorities they emphasize, we learn things like how to handle failure, how to treat people, how to approach work, and how to make decisions, and how to find happiness in things. The way we think about these things becomes so ingrained that we don't even think about them most of the time.

We often unknowingly follow the pattern set out for us by our parents. I don't mean to make a scapegoat of our parents. It's really easy to blame a lot of our problems on them, and if you've ever experienced being a parent, you'll probably end up feeling guilty like I do when I think about all the things I'm not doing well enough. 

So I think our parents deserve a little grace because life is hard, but more often than not, there's at least a few good qualities we can thank our parents for, even if they weren't able to be perfect all the time. That's still something to be grateful for. The other good news is that we don't have to inherit everything from our parents.

We can look to other people as examples and take an inheritance from them. We all may have been born to a specific family, but I think it's important to remember that we are also children of some of the greatest civilizations known to man, and we are heirs to all the lessons people have learned over the generations.

We can be heirs to the lessons we learned from our religion, from the people around us and from the great thinkers of the past. We don't have to stop inheriting things as we grow old because there's so many more lessons for us to gain from. The best inheritance is the kind of inheritance that brings you closer to joy and something you too can pass on to someone else.

We are only limited in what inheritances are available to us. In so much as we are willing to make them a part of our lives. This is Skipping Stones - “The Best Kind of Inheritance.”.You can find this podcast anywhere you choose to listen to podcasts. For more information about me, feel free to visit skippingstonessr.com. And if you enjoyed the show, please like or subscribe.

If there is a topic you would like me to speak on, please feel free to email me at info@skippingstonessr.com, new episodes will be released weekly every Monday.